who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you will always have a special place in my vag
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
