my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
