no, he came in my armpit
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
