You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I faked an abortion last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
