12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
