now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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