We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
