Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
