Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
