Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
