God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
