That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
