Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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