I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
