oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
