oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
