hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
