Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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