If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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