I can text with my tongue
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
