Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
