she woke up with a sticky ear
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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