Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
