I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
