actually, I'm a sock model
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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