He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
