I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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