quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
