You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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