I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
