I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
