You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
