actually, I'm a sock model
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
