I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
