I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think I am morally bankrupt
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
