Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i drank out of a bidet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
