Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
