Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
