Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
