The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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