Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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