Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She announced her abortion via fbk
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
