And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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