Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
