Fuck appropriateness.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
