Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
so much tequila, so little girl.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
