I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
