honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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