I've blown a few things in my day
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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