You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
