and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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